Abyss

In this crowd of people

I have lost myself somewhere

When I looked in the mirror

I found someone else standing

When I searched

I found no traces of my being

How did I end up like this, I wondered

But found no answer

How long can I keep going like this I questioned

Still found no answer

I have been living like it is a presentation 

That doesn't impress myself

What if I die tomorrow

Will I be happy with what I achieved or regret not living fully, I wondered

There was a voice inside trying to say something

But alas I have long forgotten how to hear it

Now I am just waiting in this abyss

Waiting for someone to pull me up

Abyss has started to stare back at me 

Music

As the clock is about to strike 5 am

I am still pondering on what to write about 

There are so many thoughts and topics jumbling up in my mind 

They are eagerly waiting for their chance to be released from the prison 

Having been imprisoned for far too long 

They ask me in a soft voice 

How much longer? 

I assured them not very long 

Then I felt the melodious sound wave hitting my soul 

It was coming from the guitar strings of Jimi Hendrix on my speaker 

And then I instantly decided 

Music it is your turn to go first

It asked me hesitatingly, what should I say

I smiled and said, just tell them that

You are the water for a thirsty mind

You are the physician for a wounded soul

You are the mirror to one's inner self

You are the language not of words but emotions

Which when spoken opens up

Even the tightly shut heart

I said, I don't know about God

But you are indeed omnipresent

In the babbling of a brook

In the chirping of birds

In the dripping of rain

In the thunder of lightning flash

In the stillness of night

In the cry of a baby

You don't discriminate among your followers

You don't care about their gender, race, caste, religion and wealth

You are the harbinger of peace in this chaotic world

You give hopes to the downtrodden

You are the shining beacon among darkness

You give reason to the human existence

If I need to follow a religion, I will follow you

Without you life would definitely be a huge mistake

Free Will, Purpose and Money

I have wondered this countless times in my mind

Do we really have a free will?

Or are we just prisoners of fate, circumstances and time?

Are we like a fish trapped in water?

Which doesn't seem to be able to see beyond its perceived reality

If everything is predestined

Then what is our purpose?

Is it money, status, fame, to love, to procreate?

Or we are here just to fart around as Kurt Vonnegut claimed

If it is not predestined

Then why do we choose to fake over being authentic?

Then why do we choose to be in shackles over being free?

Then why do we choose competition over cooperation?

Then why do we choose to lie over speaking the truth?

Then why do we choose things over people?

Then why do we choose hatred over love?

Then why do we choose apathy over empathy?

Then why do we choose war over peace?

Then why do we choose blind faith over critical questioning?

Then why do we choose money over humans?

Let's talk about money if we dare to

Isn't money just a social construct created by us?

Our species predates money

It is not an absolute reality like nature

In a way, aren't we our own en-slavers?

Haven't we created our own carrot to run after?

Haven't we created our own simulation?

But then it begs the question

Why did we do it?

My best guess is we were bored of emptiness and meaninglessness of our existence

It takes effort to find meaning and purpose

In this vast universe born out of nothingness

We got tired of exploration and settled for an easy fix-up

We were hurt to know we are not the center of the universe

Our inflated egos couldn't fathom it

Instead of admiring being part of something bigger than us

Instead of seeing the bigger picture

We settled for shifting the center

Created our own origin and coordinate system

We designed our own beliefs and rules

We designed right and wrong

We designed a society of control and exploitation

We designed things and ways to control 

We designed divisions of race, color, religion, caste, border

With money as the big carrot 

A reward for our unfazed obedience

While disobedience treated with contempt and punishment

Sadly, it is not possible to take the reward to afterlife if there is such thing

In the end

Again it will take effort and intent to admit our wrongness and mistakes

If we dare to pause, think and will

Then only we can envision a better world

A world based on empathy and compassion

A world based on love and cooperation

A world based on truth and peace

A world of exploration

A world in the arms of nature

A world devoid of oppressive rules and divisions

A world for everyone not just a few

A world where we are truly free

A world which we will be truly proud of

A world with a higher purpose

Then again we would have to believe that we have free will for it

And I leave it to you to answer the question that is

Do we have free will?